Why being a “good Christian” is not something you should strive for
It’s time to stop the nonsense: from a fellow Christian’s perspective.
If you’re a Christian, you may have been exposed to the popular teaching that you should “be a good Christian” so that others will “see Christ in you”.
You may have heard this preached at the pulpit, or shared in private circles, but the concept is usually the same: simply “be different” (selfless, kind, caring, positive, joyful) in a world full of chaos, and people will take notice and fall in love with Jesus.
On the surface, it’s a lovely thought. Virtually every committed Christian wants a stranger to see that “spark” in them and want to follow Christ too.
Granted, I’m sure that this evangelistic approach has converted countless Christ-followers and kindled questions that have transformed into movements throughout history (thank you, butterfly effect). But in today’s politically-polarised, post-Christian Western world, is the act of being a “good Christian” something we should strive for? Is Christianity itself viewed in the same, positive light it once was?
Let’s face it, probably not. Here are four reasons why I think we should ditch the “good Christian” act and opt for a different, more down-to-earth evangelistic approach:
1. Christianity has become politicised
The first reason that being a “good Christian” may not be a good thing, is due to the ever-increasingly polarised political atmosphere in the Western world.
Christianity, in general, is not as peachy as it was yesteryear. Times have changed. People are more sceptical. Life is busier than ever. In addition, the Church is being increasingly criticised by the media (often rightly so), with investigations into sexual misconduct and “discriminatory” stances on LGBTQI+ and female leadership ruffling feathers across the board.
On top of this, Christian institutions have become more and more involved in the political arena, to the point where sharing which denomination you belong to can be interpreted as a political—and therefore provocative—statement.
Pastor and author Rich Villodas from New Life Fellowship Church in New York City put it this way:
“There is a level of political enmeshment that has taken over the church, taken over the country at large, on both sides. There is this domino effect, this fusion, were I cannot tell where one person ends and begins, and the next person ends and begins. To critique a political leader is to critique the party you belong to . . . to critique the particular values that make up that party . . . to critique the way you read the Bible . . . to critique your conception of God . . . to critique you at your deepest centre. So when someone critiques a political leader — they get so triggered, you’re touching on my very conception of God. That’s the deepest part of who I am.”
In today’s context, the term “Christian” can be so rife with negative or polarised connotations that adding the word “good” in front of it can seem ironic, humorous or even oxymoronic. While this is not the case in every scenario or context, Christians should be aware of this, and discern accordingly. A Christian who vocally identifies themselves with a particular denomination or cause may unintentionally make others feel criticised or isolated, and shut down any possibility of sharing their faith before they even try.
2. It makes people think that we have an agenda
The idea that we should be “good people” in order to “show people Jesus” is fuelled by the need for outcomes.
In Christian-ese, this could be rephrased as believing that we need to both “sow the seed” and “reap the harvest”. We put good vibes into the universe in order to reap good returns—that is, we only act selflessly so long as we think we can convert people.
Oh mercy! Please, PLEASE stop! Why must Christians always try to control the outcome? (It’s a rhetorical question, but comments are welcomed below).
We turn what should be selfless actions into transactions. We view people as statistics when we should be extending genuine love to them regardless of their life choices or religious inclinations.
The thing is, people are smart. People have a sixth-sense for ulterior motives; they can smell a fake from a mile away. And when so many non-Christian and non-religious types act selflessly and are generous to others just because, why should someone listen to a Christian with an agenda? I mean, would you want to receive help, knowing you’d be pressured into giving something in return? Is that true love, or an exchange?
Sure, it’s not all Christians. But at the end of the day, any attempt to “love to convert” is simply an effort to justify yourself in your relationship with God, to earn His favour. Remember, salvation is not earned by how many people you convert (outcomes). It cannot be earned full stop.
3. It makes us believe that we always have to say “yes!” and be nice to everyone
One of the biggest lies perpetuated by contemporary Christianity is that in order to be a good Christian, you must be a nice person. We’ve equated “loving others” with “being nice to them”, but this is not a one-to-one comparison.
As I explained in a different article “Be Like Jesus. Be Less Nice”, Jesus—the author and embodiment of love—wasn’t always nice to people. He called the Pharisees “fools” (Matthew 23:17), overturned tables in the temple (Matthew 21:12,13), said to Peter, “Get behind me Satan!” (Matthew 16:23). Jesus told the truth, even when it hurt the rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16–22), and often separated Himself from the crowd.
Jesus didn’t always say “yes”. He wasn’t always available. And yet, millions of people are still striving to emulate His selfless love 2,000 years later.
Often, the “virtuous” exercise of being a “good Christian” is actually a guise for people-pleasing. The need to be nice all the time becomes a measure of personal virtue and worth, which is hugely problematic.
People-pleasing usually comes at the cost of not setting boundaries, becoming burnt out and resenting commitments (that shouldn’t have been made in the first place). This often causes the aspirational “good Christian” to become two-faced, which only fuels people’s ability to sniff out the fake.
Remember, God does not prescribe personal value based on how much of a people-pleaser you can be. Jesus set boundaries, you should too. If we are ever going to make the Christian worldview and lifestyle seem attractive, we need to get rid of the guilt and pressure to perform, and start stewarding our time and energy wisely.
4. It points all glory to us and not to God
I’m going to end this article by circling back to my first point about the phrase “good Christian” being ironic, or oxymoronic due to widespread negative stigma surrounding the Christian tradition.
Socio-political factors aside, I’d like to add another reason why the phrase “good Christian” doesn’t make sense: God is good. He is the one we should be glorifying, not ourselves.
The very notion of being a “good Christian” flies in the face of the true gospel message, which is that salvation is given freely to all. It creates hierarchy in a system where none was ever intended. As Galatians 3:28 tells us:
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
So why are you trying to earn status by being “good”? The true gospel message is that through His goodness, grace and mercy, you are made free. Your goodness (righteousness) is filthy rags compared to God’s (Isaiah 64:6).
Please don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say. I’m not suggesting that we should stop trying to be kind and generous to others. Every single act of kindness goes a long way. God can multiply your efforts. Please, don’t stop!
What I am suggesting is that many Christians could benefit from a degree of perspective redirection. Rather than worrying about appearing to be a “good Christian” to others, we should focus on being a good follower of Christ. Rather than worrying about outcomes and earning favour from God (FYI: you already have it; nothing you do or don’t do can change that), let’s adopt a person-centred approach where we truly show people we care, without an agenda.
God isn’t transactional with his children. He loves us and gives us life regardless of how we react or behave. We should do the same for others.
